The Scariest Part of Halloween

The two most frightening words in the english language: costume party.

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Photo by Beth Teutschmann on Unsplash

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Late October. Time to shop for a Halloween costume. Sigh.

For women, this holiday is an annual struggle. Searching for a costume is a nightmare. Unless of course you are looking to be a sexy cat, a sexy nurse, a sexy nun…seriously? Every year I wonder when women are going to revolt. I can only imagine the entire industry is geared toward serving college co-eds. Adult women cannot dress like this.

I have returned more costumes than I care to count. Even if they look somewhat tasteful online, the package arrives and I try to wiggle into the cheap skin-tight material. Invariably, it either doesn’t cover my ass, has a slit way to high or is cut way too low. And I am never shopping in the “sexy” costume section. Never.

Does anyone remember when Subway graced us with this gem of an ad?

Better get in shape for Halloween costume season. It’s time to lose weight so you can squeeze into that sexy devil, sexy nurse, sexy firefighter costume. Oh my god.

This year I am under a specific kind of pressure. I am hosting a Halloween party as a work event. So I Googled “brands empowering women on Halloween”. What I got was “feminist halloween costumes”. Ok, now we are veering too far the other way. I am not going to a Halloween party dressed as Hillary Clinton in a power suit holding a blackberry to make some kind of a political statement. Is there no in between?

As I strolled the aisles of every local Halloween store today, I saw rows of costume pieces like booty shorts and mini tulle skirts. Endless racks of thigh high fishnets and bustiers. Wow. These are the same party supply stores where I buy my kids birthday party plates. When did Halloween become an reason to wear lingerie in public?

Listen, I love getting dressed. What I wear is extremely important to me. I firmly believe presentation is everything. When you look good, it sets the tone for the day. You feel confident, empowered and attractive. And if part of that is wearing a dress that cuts a long slit up the side, then more power to you. There is nothing wrong with looking sexy. I support it. I personally strive for an elegant look while still feeling really attractive. As women, we get to choose how we present ourselves and any version that makes you feel good is the right choice for you. But where are our choices on Halloween?

The fact of the matter is most women will not dress like this in public. Ok, she looks hot. But I would save this one for the bedroom.

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Some business is going to be extremely successful one day when they figure out how to solve this problem. What do women want? To look good and to feel confident. I would pay for it on Halloween. I would love to own a few go-to costumes that work for the huge variety of events I attend this time of year.

Ideally, I would love for the costume to be actually reusable. Much of what is produced is terrible quality and cheap fabric that will never make it to next year. Knowing you are buying something that is destined for the garbage is not a decision I feel good making.

In a world of disposable consumer products is it possible to bring an actual sense of fashion and sustainability to costumes? I cannot wait for the day that I find the company with the answer.

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