The 6 Kinds Orgasms You Could Be Having
And exactly how to get there.
It is easy to fall into a rut, sexually speaking.
At some point in our lives, we figured out a version of how our bodies work. Maybe it was with a partner, maybe it was on our own. We got there. We had an orgasm. And that was enough. Mission accomplished.
As a woman, this isn’t a thing I talk about. Not with my girlfriends, never with my mother, rarely with my sister. We just don’t seem to be open to discussing sexuality in a real way. When you think about it, it is pretty strange that we don’t share this topic that is such an important part of life, love and relationships.
To be honest, even writing this feels vulnerable. And it shouldn’t. I am a grown woman. I have two children. I have obviously had sex. And yes, I care about my orgasm.
It shouldn’t scare me to be open and honest. As a writer, my ideal is to share what I have learned. I know lots of other people write about sex. But this is my first time. Be gentle.
Demystifying the Female Orgasm
The female orgasm has always been elusive, misunderstood, maybe even undervalued.
As it turns out, millennial women have it all figured out.
In a massive study, completed in 2015, a SKYN Condoms study polled 5,117 people ages 18–34 on every detail of their sex life. They found that 90% of women are reaching orgasm during sex compared with 97% of men. That closes the gap quite a bit, doesn’t it?
But here is the most interesting statistic from the study: 44% of women are having at least two orgasms during sex. Um…wow. That’s a big number.
According to Women’s Health Magazine, the uptick in ability to have multiple orgasms is because women have become far less inhibited about their bodies and will stimulate their own clitoris during sex. Struggling to reach climax during sex? “Masturbate more” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D.
Maybe it is easier said than done. Don’t worry, help is on the way.
Go Back to School
A few months ago, I was mindlessly scrolling Facebook and came across a really interesting ad. I hesitate to even share that this popped up for me…I am not sure what it says about my search history.
A company called OMGyes pops into my feed with a little preview video of a class they are offering. The trailer was speaking my language. This company studied twenty thousand women aged 18–95 and asked how they reach orgasm.
The results found techniques employed by women that had never even been named. Through research and collection of data, they assembled a list of orgasm techniques and created videos explaining exactly how each works.
Needless to say, I bought the class.
Season 1 details 12 different methods to help you get there. Real women are interviewed in each module and explain how they developed their technique followed by an explicit video showing you exactly how they touch themselves to achieve orgasm.
It isn’t quite clinical and it definitely isn’t porn. They are real women, uninhibited, showing you how they get there. I have never seen anything like the information in this class. If you are struggling with orgasm or just wondering if there is something more, I can’t recommend this highly enough.
Kinds of Female Orgasm
So exactly what is an orgasm? It is your body responding to a particular kind of stimulation. The involuntary response causes simultaneous contractions and the feeling of complete release. Small orgasms are 3–5 of those contractions. Large orgasms are 10–15 contractions.
Depending on position and stimulation, you can feel different types of orgasm happening within your body. Here are the big 6, most commonly achieved by women.
1. Clitoral Orgasm
This is the most common orgasm and usually the easiest to achieve. The clitoris is located somewhere above your vaginal opening and serves only one purpose…pleasure.
Starting gently in a circular motion and not right on the most sensitive spot. Most women are very sensitive to overstimulation. Too much aggression makes orgasm impossible. By watching my class, I learned how wildly different women’s bodies work. We each really need to figure out the method that works best for our own bodies.
2. G-Spot Orgasm
There is some debate as to whether the G-Spot even exists. But it does. You can feel it. And one of the pleasurable elements of penetrative sex is stimulation of this spot.
You can feel your G-spot if you insert a finger inside, about two inches up on the belly button side. It has a different texture. You can stimulate this spot with your finger or a vibrator.
3. Blended Orgasm
If you have experienced the first two types, number three is a must. By stimulating both places together, you can reach a much higher and more intense level of orgasm.
4. Anal Orgasm
Definitely not for everyone, so skip ahead if this isn’t your thing. But the clitoris has far reaching nerve endings and stimulation of orgasm is extremely pleasurable in all different areas. You can do as little as you want here, so don’t feel like you have to go all in (so to speak) to experience this type of pleasure. A finger or a toy can suffice. A little can go a long way.
5. C-Spot Orgasm
This one comes down to build up. The C-Spot is your cervix. After building to a certain level of arousal, your partner can thrust very deeply and cause a very rich orgasm. This one can be elusive since it depends on how you two fit together. If all the stars align, it can be an explosive experience.
6. Vaginal Orgasm
This is an orgasm stimulated by penetration alone. “All orgasms are clitoral orgasms,” explains clinical psychologist Brittany Blair, PsyD, CBSM. The clitoris is more than the bundle of nerves in one specific location. But the areas you can stimulate to cause orgasm are varied. And they produce different results. Try a few, they are not the same. Vaginal orgasms may be the path to experiencing multiple orgasms. Since the clitoris is not directly stimulated, it is much easier to reach orgasm again very quickly.
While millennials may have closed the gender gap on orgasms faster, women over 40 report having orgasms with even more frequency. Why? Because we learn as we age. We more clearly understand what we desire. And when women take control of their own sexuality, there is a powerful shift that occurs.
The sexiest thing you can possess is confidence. And knowing who you are and what you want is the beginning of every great story.
“There is unbelievable power in ownership, and women should own their sexuality…The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims. Women are so much more than that. You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist — whatever you want to be — and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive”. -Beyoncé