Signs Your Turbulent Relationship Won’t Last, Backed by Science

“There are many paths to a fairytale ending… Blocking, unfollowing, muting, and unfriending also lead to ‘Happily ever after’.” -Steve Maraboli

Colleen Murphy


Photo by Richard R. Schünemann on Unsplash

Have you ever experienced turbulence on a flight? I hate that feeling. My stomach drops. I grip the armrests. I frantically look for the flight attendants to search their faces, looking for signs of alarm.

And every time, they look calm. No big deal. And I think, ok it must be fine.

Then I saw the movie Sully. The one with Tom Hanks playing the heroic captain who piloted a plane that crashed into the Hudson. Great movie.

That plane was going down. The flight attendants were calm. But they told everyone to brace. The buckled themselves in. Head down between your legs. They chanted in unison: brace, brace, brace, head down, stay down.

I felt shivers up my spine when I heard them speak to the passengers, preparing them for impact.

And I thought, that is what it looks like. Real danger.

Knowing what is coming next, how to handle the turbulence in life is what we all need. So I got to thinking, what if we got the same warning sign in a relationship? What if someone could tell you this is the moment, brace for impact.

Toxic relationships start out looking exactly like true love. It starts out feeling like an incredible connection. You feel like you have never been so in love. Then things start to morph from loving spending time together into a possessive, jealous relationship.

Where you once felt like being together all the time was exactly what you wanted, but now you realize you are isolated from your friends and family. You thought you fell deeply in love but now you realize your emotions may have been manipulated.

And then you find your partner is sabotaging you. Talking behind your back. Disparaging your achievements. Literally keeping you from your goals.

But where did it all go wrong? Could you have been deluded from the start? You search back through the past for the moment it went from good to bad. There was no warning. No…



Colleen Murphy

Writing about the beautiful journey of life and love. We are all figuring this out together