“It is the way one treats his inferiors more than the way he treats his equals which reveals one’s real character.” -Charles Bayard Mitchell
There are quite a few CEO’s who have admitted to using business meals to perform a very particular test. And it is one you might not see coming.
Have you ever been out to dinner with someone who was incredibly rude to the wait staff? It is an awkward and uncomfortable situation.
As it turns out, many people watch for this egregious social offense to evaluate your character.
As well they should.
“It’s hard to get a dozen CEOs to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with “The Waiter Rule”. They acknowledge that CEOs live in a Lake Wobegon…
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.” — Mark Twain
What if people came with a warning? Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Like…this one is a controlling narcissist…this one is superficial and lazy…how much of our bandwidth would we save getting to know the wrong people?
Chemistry and attraction can be so distracting that we don’t see relationships for what they really are.
The beginning of a relationship is one of the most magical experiences…there is no other feeling that compares with falling in love. We feel energetic, we laugh easily, we need less sleep, less food.
The electricity of a new relationship is consuming…so much so that we often overlook…
“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” -G.K. Chesterton
We all have hard days…really unbearable moments. Those time when you think you just won’t make it through.
I think of those times when everything crumbled. When I felt crushed.
There will be days when the floor drops out from under you.
There will be days that feel like hell on earth.
There will be moments you feel like you are drowning, grasping for something real to hold on to and finding nothing is there.
But you know what? I survived each and every one of those tragedies. And you have survived each of your tragedies.
We love reading the…
“Relationships with narcissists are held in place by the hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.”– Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Something is wrong, but you aren’t sure what it is.
Maybe you ask yourself why do I always feel like I am not enough? When I put my heart and soul into this relationship, why do I end up frustrated and defending myself and feeling guilty?
You could be in a relationship with a narcissist.
We use the term very loosely these days. But it really means you are with a person who manipulates people and events to their benefit, and someone who uses people to get only their desired outcome. You don’t feel good because you don’t have a…
“…a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.” -Elizabeth Gilbert
The word “soulmate” kind of makes me cringe. So does “twin flame”.
It seems like these words are designed to make us long for the unattainable, perfect relationship. But the concept behind the word is something I kind of love.
A unique bond, individual in this world. Something set apart from any other kind of connection. One person who is yours in a way no one else has ever been. Someone who was destined to get you. Get your jokes. Someone who always knows what you mean. Someone who can read your expression from across the room and understand everything…
“I will never regret you or say I wish I’d never met you. Because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed.” — Bob Marley
We think we know what it means to be in love.
But when a relationship ends, we tend to question what it was all about. Was it ever love? It is one of the hardest questions to answer. Being swept away in the chemical cocktail that is attraction can mask a whole host of problems.
No one outside a relationship can ever really understand what you feel being in it. That leaves each of us to individually sort out if we believe we are truly in love. But true love can be defined…most accurately by what it is not.
1. It Moved Too Fast
Infatuation…
“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” -Steve Jobs
Relationships. Sigh.
Is your mission in life to find “the one”? Or are you questioning if your partner is truly the one for you?
When we are dating, there are so many red flags to look out for, so many toxic qualities to avoid. Feel a connection too fast? It might be love-bombing. Watch out. Trying to figure out if you have a future? Don’t push too hard, you are supposed to be leaning back. Everything should happen naturally.
Instead of trying to diagnose every problematic relationship quality, let’s talk about what we should be looking for…and it is actually…
“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people.”
– Jonathan Franzen
The term “narcissist” is thrown around quite a bit. It conjures an image of a completely vain and arrogant individual. You may think of the loudest, most obnoxious, most confident person in the room. While grandiosity is the hallmark of a traditional narcissist, there is another version that may not be so easy to recognize.
A covert narcissist may actually come off as an insecure person who has been victimized by other. They lack the charisma of a textbook narcissist. You may begin a relationship like this one by actually feeling bad for this person. …
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” — Henry Ford
I watched a Tim Ferriss Ted Talk a few years ago. There was one line that I can’t seem to forget…
“Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” Jersey Gergorek
Most people give their lives no thought. Life just happens to them. They do no self-discovery and little thinking. That’s not you. You are here, you are a Medium reader, a seeker, looking for the real answer backed by some level of thought and data.
For those of us who are actually awake, the hazard of thinking deeply is overthinking. …
The path to lasting love and a true happy ending.
I am a romantic. There is no denying it.
I was raised in the 80’s on a steady diet of John Hughes romantic comedies, Sweet Valley High novels and power ballads. It was dramatic. We were dramatic. The expectation was huge romantic gestures…John Cusack with a boombox standing outside my window…and only happy endings.
I thought for so long that it was all about falling in love. It was about the beginning. What happens next? Who cares. We are in love and the rest will sort itself out.
Roll credits. Ride off into the sunset. Mission accomplished. Right? Nope.
What it Means to Fall in Love
Falling…
Colleen Murphy
Writing about the beautiful journey of life and love. We are all figuring this out together
