I am a romantic. There is no denying it.
I was raised in the 80’s on a steady diet of John Hughes romantic comedies, Sweet Valley High novels and power ballads. It was dramatic. We were dramatic. The expectation was huge romantic gestures…John Cusack with a boombox standing outside my window…and only happy endings.
I thought for so long that it was all about falling in love. It was about the beginning. What happens next? Who cares. We are in love and the rest will sort itself out.
Roll credits. Ride off into the sunset. Mission accomplished. Right? Nope.
The year 2020 has brought challenges no one expected. The global pandemic and its effects on our finances, our family life and our health has rocked our world. Those of us lucky enough to skate through without getting sick (yet) have been faced with a new and radically altered reality.
Divorce rates have skyrocketed during this year. In the months of March through June, couples have filed at a rate 34% higher than the same period last year. Just three weeks into the lockdown, there was a 57% spike in divorce filings.
So did the pandemic kill the relationship? …
Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.
Overcomplicating is something I am very good at. I can rationalize with the best of them. But at the end of the day I know I am a seeker of truth. I don’t ever want to be scared to look away.
Relationships are one of the hardest places to experience clarity. It is nearly impossible to have a clear perspective when you are inside one. So often, it is after we get out that we see how unhappy we were.
Choosing to open your eyes, to…
Brené Brown didn’t plan to become this famous. In fact, she resisted anything that would bring her further into the spotlight. She feared the potential repercussions that could come with going big.
After 20 years as a graduate professor and researcher specializing in the study of shame she suddenly found herself on the world stage.
As a specialist studying shame and vulnerability, she knew she had the skills to handle the onslaught of attention from her viral Ted Talk. But the cruelty of the comments on social media challenged even her expertise.
While she was experiencing success on a level…
Have you wondered what it means to have a good marriage?
There are entire industries built around creating the perfect wedding. Look no further than the endless racks of magazines on a newsstand. Flash forward a few years and you will find entire industries built around understanding what is wrong with your relationship. Look no further than the self-help section of the book store. Or most of my articles.
But I am in my 40’s. When I got married, I followed the script. Dated for two years, got engaged, dutifully planned the perfect wedding for our families. I yielded want…
People use terms like “toxic” and “narcissist” and “gaslighting” these days. Practically every article you read refers to relationship terms that aren’t well defined.
You can google for days searching signs of a bad relationship. You may fit a few of the criteria. And then you rationalize that it might be ok because you don’t fit them all. I know, because I do it too.
If you find yourself asking any question along the lines of is my relationship toxic? then you are experiencing a pretty bad situation.
When asked if it is good or bad for a couple to have a fight, relationship expert Esther Perel becomes animated her answer. “It’s a must. It’s obligatory. But the question is not so much the fighting, the question is really the repair.”
How we fight, what we actually fight about and how we repair the relationship are key indicators of how a couple is actually connecting. While having disagreements within any relationship is normal, there are unhealthy behaviors that can predict the breakdown of a partnership.
It is easy to be your best self on the good days…but how…
People love to say when you meet the one you will just know.
But will you?
The beginning is all butterflies and anticipation…and you really feel like it is the real thing. And then the initial attraction fades into the crushing realization that the reality of your relationship doesn’t quite match up.
If you find yourself in that moment where you are wondering if you are in or out…
When you are in a great relationship, one that provides an environment where you feel you can be your most authentic self, you just know it. …
But it feels so good.
First kisses, romantic dates, that feeling of being desired deeply. And when it fades the loss is depressing. And there is a desperation to get it back.
Falling in love comes in stages. They are normal, and they are healthy. You pass through them on your way to lifetime companionship. But when we are obsessed with one phase, the one that causes those intense feelings of wanting and attraction, we miss out on the benefits of all the others.
There is some magic formula we will never understand that causes one person to be attracted…
A few years ago, a girlfriend of mine deleted all of her social media accounts. I was shocked. She was on there all of the time.
She was the last person I expected to delete her account.
Her reason? She said she felt like it was turning her into a worse version of herself. She felt jealous, obsessed. She couldn’t stop looking at her phone. Like a trained animal, she responded to the buzz and dutifully performed. Without thinking.
Buzz. Wait, did you just click off my article to look at your notifications?
Enter the new documentary, The…
Writing about the beautiful journey of life and love. We are all figuring this out together