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Every year I see the same post on Facebook. It’s New Year’s Day and one of my friends posts the following: Welcome to the annual cut. I deleted 50 people. Congratulations, you made it.

That made me laugh the first time I read it.

And then it made me think. Which decisions have I made that made my life better? Cleaner. How did I clear the decks and what made me more focused, a better person?

I asked myself who I really wanted to be. And then I got to work. Most of it was difficult. …

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It is probably the only movie I know by heart.

When Harry Met Sally is a rainy day movie, the one I can never turn off anytime it crosses my screen. It’s the ultimate falling in love movie. Your soulmate? You knew him all along. You hated him in college. You ran into him at the airport. He didn’t bother to remember your name.

Then life intervenes.

You become best friends. You accidentally sleep together. It ruins everything. Until it doesn’t. Love is complicated. Right up until the moment you figure it out. …

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Your eyes meet across a crowded room. It is an electric feeling. All the waiting, the dating, the failed romances, the tears, all add up to this one moment. And you just know. You met the one.

As it turns out…probably not.

According to a recently published study, the most likely scenario is you already know your soulmate. Researchers love the subject of love and relationships. There is a wealth of analytical data delving into nearly every aspect of relationships. Except one.

“Very few studies are really looking at this friends-first relationship initiation, despite our observation that it’s the most…

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Many of us are sleepwalking through our relationships.

We are there, but not really. We show up, but our heart isn’t in it. We make small talk. We are polite. We split the chores. We split the bills. We check the boxes.

But we feel nothing.

Psychologists call it a “roommate marriage”. This is an arrangement, not a true connected partnership. It starts to feel normal to operate in a state of bored detachment. Life doesn’t hold the excitement it once did. So many modern relationships have become nothing more than a transaction.

And inevitably, you end up asking the…

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There are quite a few CEO’s who have admitted to using business meals to perform a very particular test. And it is one you might not see coming.

Have you ever been out to dinner with someone who was incredibly rude to the wait staff? It is an awkward and uncomfortable situation.

As it turns out, many people watch for this egregious social offense to evaluate your character.

As well they should.

“It’s hard to get a dozen CEOs to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with “The Waiter Rule”. They acknowledge that CEOs live in a Lake Wobegon…

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What if people came with a warning? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Like…this one is a controlling narcissist…this one is superficial and lazy…how much of our bandwidth would we save getting to know the wrong people?

Chemistry and attraction can be so distracting that we don’t see relationships for what they really are.

The beginning of a relationship is one of the most magical experiences…there is no other feeling that compares with falling in love. We feel energetic, we laugh easily, we need less sleep, less food.

The electricity of a new relationship is consuming…so much so that we often overlook…

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We all have hard days…really unbearable moments. Those time when you think you just won’t make it through.

I think of those times when everything crumbled. When I felt crushed.

There will be days when the floor drops out from under you.

There will be days that feel like hell on earth.

There will be moments you feel like you are drowning, grasping for something real to hold on to and finding nothing is there.

But you know what? I survived each and every one of those tragedies. And you have survived each of your tragedies.

We love reading the…

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Something is wrong, but you aren’t sure what it is.

Maybe you ask yourself why do I always feel like I am not enough? When I put my heart and soul into this relationship, why do I end up frustrated and defending myself and feeling guilty?

You could be in a relationship with a narcissist.

We use the term very loosely these days. But it really means you are with a person who manipulates people and events to their benefit, and someone who uses people to get only their desired outcome. You don’t feel good because you don’t have a…

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The word “soulmate” kind of makes me cringe. So does “twin flame”.

It seems like these words are designed to make us long for the unattainable, perfect relationship. But the concept behind the word is something I kind of love.

A unique bond, individual in this world. Something set apart from any other kind of connection. One person who is yours in a way no one else has ever been. Someone who was destined to get you. Get your jokes. Someone who always knows what you mean. Someone who can read your expression from across the room and understand everything…

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We think we know what it means to be in love.

But when a relationship ends, we tend to question what it was all about. Was it ever love? It is one of the hardest questions to answer. Being swept away in the chemical cocktail that is attraction can mask a whole host of problems.

No one outside a relationship can ever really understand what you feel being in it. That leaves each of us to individually sort out if we believe we are truly in love. But true love can be defined…most accurately by what it is not.

1. It Moved Too Fast


Colleen Murphy

Writing about the beautiful journey of life and love. We are all figuring this out together

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