The Best (and Worst) Reasons to Get Married

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. – Andre Marois

Photo by Andreas Rønningen on Unsplash

The Worst Reasons to Get Married

Looking Like You Have it All

Your mother is tired of waiting to see you walk down the aisle. All of your friends are already married. You are sick of social media posts featuring happy relationships and engagement rings. You feel left out of the party. You don’t want to be singled out and about with all of your happy couple friends. You feel judged.

To Improve the Relationship

Seriously. No.

The Best Reasons to Get Married

You Fell in Love with Your Best Friend

It happened. You found someone who wants what you want. And loves talking for hours about physics and black holes and the endlessness of the universe or whatever crazy subject you are into. Someone who loves you, not because they think you are perfect but because they see your flaws and love those too.

You Are Going in the Same Direction

You want kids, you always dreamed of living on a Christmas Tree farm and raising alpacas. It doesn’t matter what you want, but they have to want it too. It doesn’t work when one of you wants to travel the world and the other is driven to stay put and build a career. No one should give up on their dream life to be in a relationship. It simply does not ever work. When one person sacrifices themselves to make the other person happy, resentment reigns.

The “Marriage” is Not the Goal

Marriage is like art, it isn’t something you have to do. It is optional. It is a creation out of nothing. Before there were two people, each spinning in their own vortex. Their combination made something new that had never existed before. It is that unique combination of two individuals into a couple that creates a new world, completely their own. The goal can’t be the actual marriage. That is forced. But marriage can be a magical evolution of a couple as they grow their commitment to one another.

Your Fights are Amazing

Every couple fights. If you don’t, you should think about why that is. Fighting is a healthy aspect in all relationships provided they are mindful. But there is one simple difference between a good and a bad fight in relationship…are you trying to get to the core issue at play or are you criticizing the other person for who they are? Because one one of those fights is healthy. On the other side of a fight should be a resolution, a greater understanding and an improvement to the relationship. Without that, you are just tearing each other down. Inflicting pain on your partner is controlling, manipulative behavior and it doesn’t happen in a healthy, thriving relationship.

Writing about the beautiful journey of life and love. We are all figuring this out together

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